This is all about how we see ourselves.
When we have healthy self-esteem, we tend to feel positive about ourselves and about life in general. You’re better equipped to face life's ups and downs.
But when our self-esteem is low, we tend to see ourselves and our life in a negative and critical light. You’re also less able to take on the challenges life throws at us.
Low self-esteem often begins in childhood. Teachers, friends, siblings and parents send us messages about ourselves, both positive and negative.
For some reason, the message that you aren't good enough is the one that stays with you.
Perhaps you found it difficult to live up to other people's expectations of you, or to your own expectations.
Stress and difficult life events, such as serious illness or a death, can also have a negative effect on your self-esteem.
You’re unrealistic. You set impossibly high standards for yourself.
You may also feel that other may leave you. You’re abandoned. That loss is inevitable.
There may be a belief that you are flawed damaged or unlovable and will be rejected
With low self-esteem or confidence, you may hide yourself away from social situations, stop trying new things, and avoid things you find challenging.
And maybe in the short term, avoiding challenging and difficult situations makes you feel a lot safer, but long term, this can backfire - it reinforces your underlying doubts and fears. It teaches you the unhelpful rule that the only way to cope is by avoiding things.
Possibly you harm your mental health, leading to depression and anxiety. You may also develop unhelpful habits, such as smoking and drinking too much to help you cope.
Using CBT and hypnotherapy we can change the way you think, feel and act about yourself.