Valentines' Hypnotherapy. For love, rejection - and meeting that special someone.

Posted by James Thomas

First things first.

I can’t hypnotise you to fall in love.

Remember in Tom and Jerry when Tom sees a beautiful lady cat walk past and starts to float 


and hearts pop out of his eyes.

I wish I could (seriously).

What I can do is make it more likely that you’ll meet someone.

Set the scene.

Create a mindset that puts you in a better place.

Why? Because we all want to be loved.


I can:

  • Boost your self-esteem
  • Help you lose weight
  • Help cut first date nerves
  • Give you confidence to get out there and find your soulmate.

Get in touch

Hypnotherapy. Love and self-esteem.


Confidence is a state of mind.

So you might think that your low self-esteem is just naturally how you are.

Not so.

At some point you have learned to feel this way.

It might be so long ago that you can’t remember why, or how you got into this state.

Possibly you had critical parents, a previous partner who always put you down, teachers who didn’t believe in you, or have been bullied at school.

With respect to relationships, you feel like nothing is ever good enough: however hard you try.

Even to the outside world you can be a rip-roaring success, but inside you can feel a failure, ashamed of yourself, like an imposter even.

Check in with yourself. Do any of these apply to you:

  • You constantly give in to others
  • You don’t talk because you believe you won’t be heard
  • You feel you have to constantly keep the peace
  • Tread carefully around others for fear of upsetting them, regardless of your feelings
  • You don’t say what you really think, only what you think others want to hear
  • You feel the weaker partner in relationships
  • You feel you don’t deserve success.

All the above are things you’ve told yourself.

So let’s unlearn them.

Because over the years you become what you tell yourself. They become self-fulfilling prophecies. Now it’s time to tell yourself new, different things.

Together with looking at your Cognitive Behaviour (how you think, feel and act) and with hypnotherapy we’ll look for better habits.

In effect, more helpful conversations you can have with yourself.

Let’s look at some automatic thoughts that are currently hardwired in you and how we can change them.

“Meeting someone new. It always goes badly for me.”

Why not say, “Some things go badly for me, just as they do for everyone else, but some things go well”?


I’m not good at meeting someone new, so I’d rather not do it at all.”

Let’s change that to, “OK, it might not go as well as I wanted, but that doesn’t mean I won’t be any good at all. I can’t expect to get everything 100% right all the time. I’ll never be satisfied.”

In other words, let’s get you to be more Tigger and knock the Eyeore out of the park.

 Hypnotherapy. For love and weight loss.

Let’s get one thing clear. Not everyone who falls in love is a size 10 and lives happily ever after.

Being the right weight, knowing your weight’s on the way down – or simply feeling good about your figure – puts you in a good mindset.

Just think you can look forward to buying new clothes for a date with confidence.

Feel the best version of you and ready to knock ‘em dead.

Remember it comes from you. It’s all about YOU feeling good first and then giving off an air of confidence.

How do we do this? (We’re a team, remember.)

It’s about changing your relationship with food. Your habits. Not thinking of food as a dopamine hit when you’re bored, tired, stressed, or as a way of covering something deeper.

And it’s nothing. NOTHING. To do with diets.

 Hypnotherapy to stay calm on first dates.

TOGETHERWhat we’re doing here is simply learning to relax.

Just like interviews and public speaking it’s all about feeling calm and not feeling judged.

Basically we’re calming the feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about something that you’re not sure how it will play out. The uncertainty is getting to you.

It’s when it goes beyond a few butterflies and it’s stop you dating and meeting new people.

The trick is to be able to check in with yourself. Examine your thoughts actions and feelings as soon as you’re aware of any change and start to heal yourself.

To relax.

Giving off an air of calm lets you be yourself. Self-assured, sassy, witty – play it your way.


 Hypnotherapy for dating confidence 

What we’re talking about here is belief.

You believe in yourself. Others – like your date – will believe in you too.

It’s similar to self-esteem.

Making sure you trust your own abilities and others accept you.

This can be the basis of several hypnotherapy sessions

What do I mean by this?

Firstly we talk about what you hope to achieve.

Practically this means hypnosis – a deeply relaxed state where your attention is focused on what I’m talking about (this is based on what you want to achieve).

To be clear. You’re fully in control when under hypnosis. You don’t have to take on board my suggestions if you don’t want to.

And remember hypnosis doesn’t work if you don’t want to be hypnotised.

But if you do believe in the suggestions you can help yourself be a better version of yourself – in mind and body.

The therapy I use - Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is based on the idea that your thoughts, feelings and actions are all linked.

Your negative thoughts and feelings affect your actions and can trap you in a vicious cycle.

We work together to create a virtuous circle.

In effect, your current thoughts, feelings and actions are the basis for my suggestions when I hypnotise you. They become practical ways to improve your thinking on date night.


Hypnotherapy for the other side of love. Heartbreak


Someone used to love you. You thought you had a future together. You’d fall asleep in each other’s arms.

You shared your fears. Gave them a map to your insecurities.

And now you’re left devastated.

What now?

This is hypnotherapy as a ‘pick-me-up-off-the-floor’ tonic.

It’s all too easy to assume that the explanation has to do with our own failings.

We feel we weren’t good enough.

Well, maybe there is a failing.

And it’s this. We don’t always understand another person’s inner workings.

How can we?

But, strangely enough, what I can help with is not too dissimilar to falling in love.

There’s anxiety and stress, but now about:

  • how you’ll cope without the person you have lost
  • your own health
  • financial insecurity
  • the loss of your place in the world.

Plus, like I talked about earlier, you may lose confidence and self-esteem. Or, develop a fear of loneliness.

So what will I do?Not to mention physical symptoms such as weight 


loss or weight gain, feeling sick, tired or sleepless.

Hypnotherapy can give you positive suggestions to help you cope.

Reduce your feelings of guilt and blame, and help you to find ways of building a positive new future. Moving on. Because everything that’s happened is in the past.

Let’s make you ready to love and be loved from this moment forward.


James Thomas is a Cognitive Behavioural Hypnotherapist based in Lincolnshire. He runs The Gentle Mind Hypnotherapy Ltd.

He believes we are what we tell ourselves. That when we relax we are kinder to ourselves.

He’s looked at love from both sides now.

He’s had the Full Monty. Marriage. Divorce. Heartbreak. And, of course, love.

0778 756 3099


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Topics: Hypnotherapy, self-esteem

In a Nutshell


Helping you find love.

Hypnotherapy for:

  • Boosting your self-esteem
  • Helping you lose weight
  • Helping cut first date nerves
  • Giving you confidence to get out there and find your soulmate.


Dealing with heartbreak.

Hypnotherapy for:

  • building a positive new future.
  • moving on
  • understanding everything that’s happened is in the past.
  • making you ready to love and be loved again.

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When we’re not ourselves we burn ourselves out. Physically and mentally. I want to help you be kind to yourself. Be a better version of yourself. In effect have a relaxed and gentle mind.