This is my truth.
It’s nothing new. It’s here. Already on my website.
I ate too much. Drank too much.
Was close to twice my current weight.
Walking back from a drinking session one hot Soho summer’s evening I looked in the window of the Nike store on Oxford Street and staring back at me was a fat middle aged man with sweat rings under the arms of his polo short.
It was me.
Over 20 stone.
I have never felt such an intense and deep moment of shame.
This is when I had to tell myself the truth.
How had I sleepwalked to this place? Why did I think it acceptable?
I had a chat with myself.
And was also honest to other people. I’d have water thanks. No more nights of 12 pints of Guinness and Jäger bombs.
Now I’m eight stone lighter.
Three Iron Man events. Seven marathons and a successful climb up Mont Blanc later here I am.
Telling you my truth.
Along the way it cost me a marriage. Lost the love of my life and my kids didn’t speak to me for nearly three years.
You’re in my hypnotherapy consulting room. Now, be honest why are you here?
There are two types of clients I meet. They’re subject to push and pull forces. Those that are drawn towards cognitive behavioural hypnotherapy have come of their own free will. They’re open-minded and looking for change. They’re easy to treat. They’re halfway there. They want change. Just need pointing in the right direction.
And then there are those who’ve come to please others. Been cajoled. Are in front of me reluctantly.
This group are harder to convince. You’re not coming with a positive mental attitude. You’re harder to hypnotise. Reluctant to do any work between sessions. You’re wasting your money and my time. And you’re more likely to anecdotally say, “I tried hypnotherapy, made no difference to me.”
No one gains by this. But if you state your reluctance (“I’m here because my missus made me do this”). Maybe we can work together. Or we walk away from each other. No harm done.
What’s your story? Be honest.
There’s a saying. “Honesty is more than not lying. It is truth telling, truth speaking, truth living, and truth loving.”
If you tell me everything. How you’re currently thinking, feeling and acting we can work together to change your condition.
I know exactly what you’re facing and what we need to do to turn you around.
Because there’s another saying, a Yiddish proverb, that “A half-truth is a whole lie.” If you don’t tell me everything I can’t get to the bottom of things. All that will happen is your anxiety stress, or whatever else you’re suffering from will rise up again.
How your honesty applies to hypnotherapy.
By the very nature of most of the clients I see they’re being honest.
They’re admitting something: a fear, a phobia, they can’t go on with their stress and anxiety levels.
But I need to know why you’re in the chair opposite me.
Hypnotherapist and client. How are we getting on? Be honest.
I need the gift of feedback. If you’re uncomfortable. Finding things too hard. Let me know. We can only progress at your pace.
Even if you don’t like me!
Have you done the work between our hypnotherapy sessions? Honestly?
Cognitive Behavioural hypnotherapy works by brain re-training. And that takes practice. Practice. And more, guess what? Practice.
So, the more you do your brain training between our sessions, the sooner I’ve ‘got rid’ of you.
Remember what I do isn’t counselling. It’s to give you a skill set to get back out there as a better version of you. Relaxed. Confident. Recognising problems and not letting them bother you.
You, me, the truth and hypnotherapy.
Put another way think of your truth as a power.
It creates peace. You’re not lying to yourself. Being ‘out of sorts’.
You’ll find it easier to live life being yourself. Not what you think other people want you to be.
The sooner you’re courageous enough to be your true self it’ll be easier to be the best version of you. That’s what we’d work on.
The formula is simple: honesty makes you happy. It’s easier to love yourself. Then there’s no room for stress or anxiety.
James Thomas is a Cognitive Behavioural Hypnotherapist based in Lincolnshire. He runs The Gentle Mind Hypnotherapy Ltd.
He believes we are what we tell ourselves. That when we relax we are kinder to ourselves. It's the truth.
0778 756 3099